It’s November, and I have a lot to be grateful for. However, I am also experiencing some anti-gratitude. Not ingratitude, because I really am thankful for the many blessings in my life, but anti-gratitude because I am wasting time and energy on feeling cross about things I haven’t received.

I’ve been sick for several days, and on only one of those days did I have a chance to go to bed. I’ve felt well enough since that day to be up working and so forth, but still, I think it’s obvious to the casual observer that I’m not completely well. Has my husband gone to get me a bottle of Nyquil, done the grocery shopping, cooked a meal, or cleaned up the house? The answer to that is “No.”

#1 daughter came over yesterday, when I was huddled up on the sofa knitting #2 daughter’s Christmas sweater, coughing, and feeling sorry for myself, and hung out with me watching “Sherlock” and chatting about recent events. She even made me a cup of tea. I’m grateful for this.

But my husband and #1 son were lolling around in big comfy chairs talkng about sports, and my husband called out, “What are you going to make for dinner?” and then, “When are you going to make dinner?”

Moms, including mothers of grownups, don’t get taken care of when they’re sick. They are expected to continue taking care of others.

With that said, let’s also recognize that I am very grateful to have #1 son home, to have the #1s visiting, to have food in the house to cook when I know there are plenty of people who don’t have that luxury, and even to have a husband. I’m thankful that I have a job that makes it possible for me to go to bed instead of working if I feel too sick, and that a little flu or something is the only health issue I’m having to cope with. I’m thankful for the glorious fall weather, the fireplace, and the electricity and electronics that let me be entertained by the BBC when I’m under the weather.

In a minute here I will get dressed and clean up and cook breakfast for the merry band and then we are going out to watch #2 son’s tournament. The solution for anti-gratitude is to push it out of the way with sufficient gratitude.