I’ve given myself the month of January — the self month — to establish new habits and to reestablish old ones that slipped away over the holidays.

I was making good progress, but I backslid badly at the end of this exciting week.

I’ve had a habit for years of taking some of my paycheck and shopping for books, sweets, and craft supplies. I decided this year to stop that. Instead, I’ve been putting that money toward paying off debt. It’s been quite satisfying to see those payments in the bank record.

But I received a $200.00 refund check from the surgery center. The insurance company negotiated a discount on their bill, so I got a refund.

Since I used CaredCredit to pay them, I should have deposited that check and sent those funds to CareCredit. I did not.

I bought books, toys for the baby, planner stickers, and knitting gear. That was very satisfying, too. Fun, in fact. When it arrives, I’ll enjoy opening it. I’ll enjoy using it, too. I might wrap it all up for a birthday present to myself, but whenever I use these things, I will surely enjoy them.

But it was backsliding.

I also had enough in that refund to order in a pizza. That, too, is backsliding. I’ve been moving back toward my established eating pattern, but at the end of a good day’s work — and a very busy work week — it was very satisfying to have someone bring me dinner.

While I think it would have been better to forego these purchases, I will not suffer over them. Instead, I’ll enjoy them fully. I didn’t buy yarn, so I haven’t broken my Cold Sheep resolution. And it wasn’t a paycheck, so I guess I haven’t broken that resolution either.

If I receive any more refund checks, however, I will recognize them as an opportunity to get that medical debt paid off.

Today it’s snowy and cold. I made an apple pastry and a strong cup of tea, and I’ve been reading and working on the argyle vest.

I’m doing the sleeve bands. Then I suppose I will redo the worst of the rakers, weave in the hundreds of yarn ends, and be finished.

A relaxing day, eating up the leftover pizza and nearing completion of an ambitious project.