“You asked me when you first came here whether I was in a position to hire someone. No, I’m not. If I were in a position to hire someone, would I hire you? Absolutely.”

This was the computer guy. He had paid me promptly for the work I had already done, given me two more nice projects, and promised me steady work for the future, so I was not discouraged by this.

“And when, with my assistance, you become wildly successful…” I laughed. He laughed too.

I was elated by this, frankly. So much so that I did not go and apply as counter help at all the local retailers. I’ll do that on Monday. I applied for a couple of editing jobs, one of which will require me to do a quick download and study of the sample version of Visio if I actually end up with an interview, got some preliminary research done for the new project, and then I actually cleaned house a little bit.

Here’s the thing. While I haven’t spent as much time wallowing in misery as perhaps I should have (and yes, I do have it scheduled for Tuesday), I have been working in a somewhat manic way.

I shouldn’t use words like “manic” when I don’t really know what they mean.

However, I would say that my work schedule since becoming unemployed is just as frantic as it was before I became unemployed, if not more so. I feel as though, if I do something, I may improve things. Part of this is what I was saying about the Apostle Peter. He could never just allow things to be; he had to be doing stuff all the time, however unwise it was. Part of it is probably just superstition: if I am not working hard enough, then I will remain unemployed. Just because I didn’t work hard enough.

I’m taking it too far, I know. I take a bite of a sandwich and then I feel that I have to get back to work. It takes too much time to eat lunch. I can’t go to the gym because I have to work. I can’t be spending time on housework when I have a jobhunt to conduct!  I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and am compelled to get up and get to work.

Fortunately, I have had some actual work to do. Otherwise, what would I have done? Scrolled through the want ads again in case I missed something in my eight automatic email alerts?4

Anyway, it’s okay. I have some work to do. It’s a relief.

I have never been one of those who believes she should be a “human being, not a human doing.” I have a friend who says that pretty frequently, and I nod politely, but I don’t get it. I like to do things.

But I need some balance. And last night I managed to stop working at dinner time. I cooked a proper meal. I watched “Numb3rs” with my boys and worked on the sleeves of Erin.

Today I will be calling upon a prospective client. Blessing was all impressed and amazed that I had approached the computer guy. It just isn’t like me to be so bold. This is true. But I love the work I’m doing with him, so I’m very glad I did approach him. And I will keep that in mind as I approach other people.

Monday I’ll try for counter help jobs.