This is the absolute literal truth. The reason I haven’t taken to my bed and Gone Into a Decline is that I had no witnesses except one of the Suwandas, who assures me that no one else was in the room at the time, except Bigsax who sat with his back to me.
Listen, if you ever are with a friend and her skirt falls off, you must immediately assure her that absolutely no one else saw it happen. Even if it happens at church during the coffee hour, instead of afterwards.
Another fortunate thing is that I was wearing opaque tights and a jacket, not tiny dotted swiss panties, because I could not possibly have lived that down, no matter how few witnesses there were.
The skirt in question is on the left. It’s made from the pattern at right. When I made it, Pink Hebe told me that the waist was way too big when she made it. I said, oh no, it’s just designed to sit at the hip.
Man, was I stupid. An inch below the waist, okay, but actually riding that low… I mean, if it sits at the hip, what’s to keep it from falling off? Nothing, that’s what. I just reached over to get coffee, and it slipped right down to the floor. I dipped swiftly down and pulled it back up, thanking God that it hadn’t happened while I was singing in front of the early service. Then I went and put on my choir robe.
You might think that this would solve the problem. Nope. There I am in the choir loft for second service, standing up and sitting down, thinking about what I’ll do if my skirt falls off again right there during the service. Pick it up and carry it out with me? Wriggle into in the choir loft, hoping the men behind me don’t notice and the sopranos in front shield me from the congregation?
I left after the anthem, slipping down the side aisle with trepidation.
Then I went out to the parking lot and discovered that #2 son had taken my car to go to work, so I had to walk home.
Waiting for my skirt to fall off as I walked.
That skirt is getting a waistband. And if I make it again, which could conceivably happen,because I liked it very well rigth up to the moment it plunged to the floor, then I’ll go with a smaller size or make adjustments in some way. You can’t have an untrustworthy skirt.
The song for today us De Tierra Lejana Vienemos, an epiphany carol from Puerto Rico. English and Spanish words, in case you want to sing this. It’s very pretty.
Another thing that happened yesterday is that a company contacted me about making my professional blog the sample for their new platform, in exchange for my continuing to write it. I couldn’t do that, actually, since it would amount to letting them use The Computer Guy’s design for their advertising, but I was flattered that they offered. If only they had wanted my educational blog, which needs rescuing from the lovely social neighborhood it lives in.
And another thing that happened was that I talked with an experienced WebCT instructor, who told me that she doesn’t put her whole course up before class starts, but rather just prepares lessons a week or two at a time, in the normal way. This takes some pressure off.
And the big thing about my traumatic experience in church yesterday is that I have, this early in the year, already had the most embarrassing experience I could possibly have this year. Now I can sail bravely into all situations, secure in the knowledge that the worst is already over.
7 thoughts on “The Day My Skirt Fell Off at Church”
Somehow, I feel better about my failure to make a skirt that fitted me from that pattern… I vote for elastic.
My Grandmother’s skirt fell off in church once, but she’d undone it because she’d had a rather large meal beforehand.
Good heavens …. how awful. And I suspect that the suspense — waiting all that time for it to happen again — was worse than the original event. You’re right; it was a blessing that you weren’t wearing naughty lingerie instead of decorous tights. I am so very sorry that happened to you!
@pink_hebe – What did she do? How many witnesses? Did she ever go back to that church?
I have that same pattern and have never bothered to use it. Now I am forewarned as to the dangers of that particular skirt.
I’m glad(?) you have already had your most embarrassing moment and can now enjoy life for the rest of the year.
i am sorry, but that is a funny story 🙂 i remember when i was young and was a ‘cocktail waitress’… you waited to dump that first tray of drinks so that you could get over it. Glad to see your skirt went down so early in the year! Nothing to fear going forward 🙂
@fibermom – Well, she was wearing a slip, so it wasn’t too disasterous… It was Christmas service at my church, and we were leaving, and I cannot for the life of me remember if we went back with her (I was very small). Enough witnesses. Particularly since she shriekd and laughed. ~x~
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