Yesterday I got the blogging finished, and made progress on my homework and this week’s website. I shouldn’t say the blogging is finished. I have a situation with that client in which I can only work six hours a week. It’s counted on Greenwich Mean Time, so — since I haven’t looked it up — I’m not totally confident of when the week ends. Since I’m writing 20 blog posts for these guys and tomorrow is the deadline, I knew I’d have to get in all six hours for last week as well as all six for this week, or not be paid for all the work involved. The really horrifying thing is that it took me three days to get those six hours done. Things kept happening, so I actually only did three hours on Saturday, and I was quite sure that there wouldn’t be three hours left in the afternoon before midnight Sunday GTM.

So I went to the early service, and raced home to work, spent some time with my family, and then did homework, and laundry, and that was most of the day.

I did go out in the evening to read, but the mosquitoes were too vicious and I had to give up and come back in.
Last week in the gym I read an article saying “It’s June! If you didn’t succeed with your New Year’s Resolutions, it’s a good time to start again!”

I don’t feel that way about June. School’s out (except for folks like me teaching and taking summer classes, but still) and it’s summer, and that should mean a more relaxed attitude and a higher pleasure to diligence ratio than usual. Renewing your resolve makes more sense in the fall.

I may feel that way just because I’m so tired of renewing my resolve on things I’m failing to accomplish. I did a good job of increasing my billable hours, but I’ve only reduced my unbillable hours (if I have — I’m not sure) by failing to do things. I’m meeting my financial goals, but I still haven’t saved up enough for my dental work. I haven’t gotten my business systems in place or learned to use all my software well, though I guess I’ve made some slight progress there. I’m no closer to having a normal balanced life than I was in January. I have, I fear, zero Finished Objects for 2009. I’ve missed Book Club nearly every month this year — and I’m only saying “nearly” in case there was a month when I got there and I’ve forgotten it. I’ve lost a grand total of five pounds, and make it to the gym only two or three times a week.

It’s kind of like confessing your sins. We don’t do that in the Methodist church, at least not in a group, but in the Presbyterian church we had a special time during the service to do that, and it seemed to me that God had to get bored and frustrated with us, confessing the same old sins week after week.

God, being God and all, probably doesn’t get bored. But I sure do get bored with myself every week when I sit down with my calendar on Sunday night and plan a week including housework and exercise and personal downtime, and then fail to follow through on it.

What’s the alternative, though?

So this week I once again plan to go to the gym and eat right, to take care of my household responsibilities and get my sewing project finished up, to read the book for Friday’s Book Club and the lesson for Sunday School as well as doing my class homework, to work a reasonable number of hours, and especially not to go around acting as though I’m busier than anyone else and my work is more important than everyone else’s.

#2 son has offered to do my filing while I’m at the college today, in recognition of the fact that I can earn more toward his tuition if someone helps out with the unbillable stuff. Since he has only a few hours a week at his job and hasn’t found another, this is his plan to contribute. He told me that, if he gives me any lip about it, I should remind him that it’s going toward paying his tuition. He also had me make him a to-do list on a virtual sticky note on the computer’s sidebar. I was impressed. If he follows through, that should help. I also have the bookkeeper coming back this week to get all this year’s data into my accounting program.

And, a point which shouldn’t be overlooked, I will not be participating in Back to School this year, except as a mom sending a kid to college. So there may be hope for me yet.