I’ve read a couple of things about pain recently. I’ve also been experiencing some pain.

One of the things of been reading, The Healthy Deviant, takes the position that the kind of pain I’m experiencing is caused by inflammation which is caused by our modern way of life. This great conspiracy, they think, tries to deceive us into thinking that we should accept the pain or deal with it through things like opioids and surgery. We should instead be alert and take control of our lives, reducing inflammation and curing ourselves.

The other thing is an article in The Economist on back pain. This says that we struggle against pain and give it center place in our lives. Opioids and surgery don’t work for back pain, research shows. Instead, we should accept it, remain active, and deal with occasional pain as calmly and stoically as possible.

Which of these things is true? I do not know.

I kind of dread going to bed because that is when I experience most pain. I can take Tylenol, but I read that it is correlated with dementia. I would rather experience pain than dementia.

In other news, my stepfather died on Sunday. I don’t know how to feel. I’m afraid of what I will need to do in response to this, but this is a man who molested me and my sister.I don’t know how one is supposed to feel in this situation. Probably not anything I will be able to express to anyone.

Work is stressful but exciting, and the church meetings which will be part of my life for the next three years can also be described in the same terms. Stress is apparently also part of inflammation.

So is sugar. Which could also be related to stress, although it might just be all about access. That is, I have lots of sweet things in the house, so I eat them. Blaming stress, of course.

The last two days I have missed dinner because of meetings and had breakfast-for-dinner at 8:30 and missed my evening routine, ending up with less than 7 hours of sleep.

But I can’t be so dependent on my schedule that staying out after 8:00 p.m. is bad for my health.

Hmm. I am pondering these things.