Painful Song: Text Me Merry Christmas

Today #2 son came to visit, bringing bread, and we had a great conversation. Or perhaps a series of great conversations. I had a good work Zoom meeting and good feedback from clients, and #1 daughter came by as well.

So it was a great day.

But it didn’t start well. Shortly after midnight I was awakened by pain. In my drowsy state I thought there was something really wrong with me, like maybe all my bones were falling out of my body. I had to wake up fully and go take ibuprofen, and then it took a while to get back to sleep.

Why did this happen? Well, last night I did spend a couple of hours sitting on a Swiss ball for a Zoom meeting. The meeting began exactly when I finish work, so I didn’t have a proper dinner. After the meeting, I ate a dish of ice cream.

Maybe the combination of the sugar and the extra sitting led to the pain.

I had also skipped my application of frankincense oil. I am trying a topical application of frankincense oil to the affected parts morning and night in hopes of getting a good placebo effect going.

So I had the oil this morning, and not too much sugar, and I have been fine all day.

However, in a continued effort to provide Christmas songs suitable for a plague year, I am offering you this song, which I had never heard before, which was identified as the most painful Christmas song of all by an Australian blogger.


This holiday
You’ll be far away
And I’ll be all alone
So please remember
This December
To fully charge your phone
Text me Merry Christmas
Let me know you care
Just a word or two
Of text from you
Will remind me you’re still there You don’t have to add much to it
One smiley face will do
Baby text me Merry Christmas
Cause I’m missing kissing you
Text me Merry Christmas
Make my holiday complete
Though you’re far from me
Say you’ll brb
That’s a text I’ll never delete
Choose just the right emoji
One that makes me lol
And if you text me something naughty I promise I won’t tell
I don’t care if you spell things right
I just want to hear from you tonight
Stroke those keys with your delicate touch
And type those little words that mean so much!
How are you
Miss you
Miss you too
Xmas sucks without you
I know lol
Love you
Love you
A need more from @you than just a tweet
A snap on snapchat doesn’t last
And voicemail? That’s from Christmas past
Text me Merry Christmas
Send a selfie too
If you do, I’ll go
‘Neath the mistletoe
And pretend my screen is you
Show me that you love me
Text xo to kiss and hug me
I’ll be right here waiting
For my pants to start vibrating
Baby text me Merry Christmas
And I will text you too This Christmas
It’s the least that we can do Merry Christmas!
David Allen Javerbaum and Adam Schlesinger wrote this piffle. I didn’t find any better recordings, so let’s just let it go at that.