She was getting ready for her date with The Cattleman when the email from the Second Trombone arrived.
She called me.
“What do you think this means? He says he is not what I think he is but he also thinks that I am not what I think I am.” She was choosing earrings, slicking on lipstick. “And then he says he will watch my future career with interest.”
“Hmmm… Does he know you think he’s a loser?”
“Well, he’s been telling me for a while now that he isn’t a loser.”
“No, but I guess he realized that I was thinking that. But what does he mean about my not being what I think I am?”
“Well, does he know that you think you’re pretty hot stuff?”
“Sure. He has met me.”
“Well, then, I think you’re being insulted. I am not quite sure what he is saying, but I think it is intended to be an insult.” I glanced critically at the growing lattice, trying to decide whether to repeat the error I had made on the first sock so they would match. “On the other hand, I think you can count that as his having broken up with you, so now you don’t have to bother doing it.”
“That is a plus.” Rustling sounds ensued. “I’m wearing that new dress you picked out for me. It is ver’ cute.”
“I bet. Are you going to tell the Cattleman about the email? As a funny story?”
“Not on the first date. But you know, it isn’t the Second Trombone’s job to break up with me. I was hardly even dating him. He was still on probation, and it didn’t look like he was going to make it.”
The conversation made me think about how people behave when they fear rejection.
They parade all their least attractive qualities before their potential rejector. They get angry and say bitter things, trying to hurt that person before that person can hurt them. They scramble to be the rejector instead of the rejectee.
And maybe I should even say “we” instead of “they.” It is years since I had anything but an abstract interest in dating, but we all face the possibility of rejection in our lives. People who don’t want to be our friends, people who don’t want to hire us, people who don’t accept our opinions.
If we developed gracious responses to rejection, we might be bolder in our lives.
3 thoughts on “Saturday June 23, 2007”
Yea, well his was far from graceful, but fear of rejection… I could see that.
I like the last line – so very true, eh?
LOL, that is too funny : ), not the rejection but the whole conversation and the realness of it all. I bet you’d be a great romance novelest. Not that I read those type of books. But the one I read back in high shcool out of curiosity because you would see the girls so engrossed in them. The one I read I picked up in a Roses dept store and it caught my attention for one because of the cover picture of the handsome dude and the damsel in his arms and that it was the thickest biggest paper back on the shelf. Probably a marketing ploy to grab the poor unsuspecting customers attention. It was a brave purchase for a person like me who barely reads. So I bought it and started reading the thing. I was up All NITE!, and that weekend reading it from dusk till dawn because I couldn’t put it down. It was kind of a pirate/mideval/mythical type romance type story with all kinds of twist and turns and romance. I’ve never cracked another one open since.
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