Ozarque has been having a discussion which has included, among other things, the question of whether it is really harder for young people to head out on their own nowadays than it used to be, or whether they just perceive it as harder.
You can click here to see a serious article detailing the evidence that young people today are taking longer to achieve the traditional defining landmarks of adulthood: “leaving home, finishing school, becoming financially independent, getting married and having a child.” At its simplest, data from the census shows that, in 1960, two-thirds of 30 year olds had completed all of these milestones, while in 2000, only about a third had done so. Since you can check this article for the details, I will not apologize for over-simplifying; the point here is that we are not imagining this change.
These numbers reflect other social changes — more people go to college, school takes longer to finish, people marry later and have children later or not at all. However, the result in terms of independence is clear. In 1960, 70% of 25 year old women were financially independent of their parents; in 2000, the figure was only 25%.
Some would say that it is actually harder for young people to gain financial independence. Commenters over at Ozarque’s place have mentioned the high cost of housing and transportation. And, indeed, The Wall Street Journal recently pointed out that many Americans are putting 52% of their income into housing and transportation, leading to financial stress out of proportion to income. The point that the Journal was making, however, was not that these things cost too much but that people are choosing to spend too much for them. The family with three SUVs used to drive to work and the grocery store, the single person with three bedrooms — these are examples of excessive consumption, not of helplessness in the face of high prices.
We know that the Journal is not a paper with a commitment to frugality and simple living. If they say folks are overspending, then things have really gotten out of hand.
I have one kid who has been married for a couple of years and is living in New England, and one just starting out on her own in the Midwest. Both of them have been able to find housing in the traditional recommended 25-28% range of their incomes. I also spend that proportion of my income on housing, in the South. Don’t tell me it can’t be done.
But people don’t always want to do that. This article suggests that the sense of angst (“Why Wait to Have a Mid-Life Crisis When You Can Have One at 25?”) comes from excessive affluence. Kids who have had no struggles are simply not prepared to face the difficulties that have previously been accepted as part of growing up. Those difficulties may include having a less luxurious lifestyle than the one your parents have achieved by working at it for several decades.
This made me think of the TV program Friends, which shows a group of people in their 20s (the program ended this year, I think, because that premise was getting less and less plausible) and their adventures starting out in adult life. They all have wardrobes which would cost more than any of them could expect to make in their fictional jobs in a year. Someone at Ozarque’s place pointed out that their apartments would be completely unaffordable in the city in which they are supposed to live. Their haircuts would probably be beyond their means.
If we compare that with similar young adult programs from earlier generations, such as Seinfeld or That Girl, do we see a big difference in their standards of living?
You know it. The people in Seinfeld did a fair amount of scrimping, and wore their clothes more than once, too. That Girl was apparently an important fashion influence in its day, but I don’t remember that from watching it as a little girl. I remember that Marlo Thomas had a little bitty apartment and was a really careful shopper. In both of these programs, having to struggle financially was a normal part of early adulthood — as it is in real life.
Now, kids expect to have the same standard of living as their parents, or perhaps better, right away. Many of them achieve this with credit cards, continued family assistance (I know three 20-somethings whose parents subsidized their housing costs), or simply living with their parents well into adulthood. In fact, some of the young people commenting at Ozarque’s are not defining being a “real grownup” with reference to things like finishing school, supporting themselves, or getting married at all, but instead are referencing ownership of objects.
The “failure to launch” phenomenon of extended adolescence may be another symptom of “affluenza.”
Xanga is not allowing me to show you what I’m reading today, so I will tell you. My Antonia is my current novel — book 2 for week-I-think-it-is-seven of the Summer Reading Challenge. I also have Three Black Skirts, a book of advice for young women which I am going to give to #2 daughter. I have only skimmed it so far — it just arrived from a frugalreader pal — but I was amused to find that it refers to the program Friends in its section on budgeting. You want to have those apartments and those clothes like the people on Friends! it says. You’re young and beautiful and would look way better in designer clothes than your boss! Then it says: suck it up, make a budget, put away that credit card, and put some money in your savings account. You can have a designer lipstick now and work your way up.
I can’t finish reading My Antonia – it puts me in a funk! I’m going to finish it one day.
Interesting… I also have repeatedly heard and read the meme, “you (average citizen) are spending too much.” – hmmm… wonder what’s up? I mean, other than people spend too much. Why tell people now though, I wonder.
While I think there is something to this, I also think the economy makes it difficult to thrive these days. It’s a real struggle for a family to get by on one income — a good income. We barely scrape by, and we only have one car and live in an older, unfashionable neighborhood. (Good schools, though, so our taxes tend to be higher.)
But it’s true, we were never educated about money by our parents. There are many things we have had to learn the hard way.
I’m willing to bet those 25 year old women in 1960 were married and dependent upon a husband. These days people are choosing to marry later, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
The work is ongoing. I’ve been doing it all along.
I work for Homes and Land of Northern Virginia. If you look in your local supermarket, you’ll probably find a copy of Homes and Land of wherever you live. That will give you an idea of the work that I do. I take either the files from the photos or scan physical photos, plus the files for the text or typeset the text, and put it together into an ad. There are one to four ads per page, and we’re doing a magazine that’s 80 pages long.
The work is for 1 1/2 weeks every four weeks. That means I work for most of two weeks, and have two weeks off. If it was every week, I’d be in great shape. I have to find a part-time job that will let me make enough money to improve my business enough that I can make a living at that.
I posted the previous comment after reading your comment on my blog, and before I read your blog.
If you want something for your kids to read, try the “Rich Dad” series of books. He complains that people were never taught how to deal with money, and then (in several books) tells you how.
I definitely agree that a big problem is likely spending (and related issues). For instance, I just read yet another article about how young adults (and older ones) have such huge loans post-college. It never seems to correlate those numbers with work and scholarships. I came out of college with less than $10,000 in loans. I had saved up some money (albeit not much, maybe $5000) pre-college. I did work-study there, I worked summers, and I applied for every single grant/scholarship I could. I didn’t have a computer until my second year (admitedly, I was the first on my floor to have one, but it served me for 3 years and then a roommate used it another year after that). I didn’t have a car. I went home only for breaks of 4+ days (except once on a 3-dayer when Mom had just had surgery). When my parents moved farther away, I went home only for Christmas and Easter. I went to free events on campus or just hung out with friends. I didn’t go shopping much. I ate at the campus dining hall. (I should note that I went to a private college were tuition and board cost upwards of $20000/year when I finished.)
Are high college loans due to college tuition going up or people choosing to spend their money on things they don’t really need? Parties every weekend. Trips home. A car. Fancy clothes. Eating out. Concerts. Etc.
We survive on one income. We have only one car and I walk/bike to work. We spend less than 20% of my income on housing. We *chose* to buy a century-old house instead of a brand new one and saved over $30,000 (1/3 of the cost) by doing so. Was it worth it? YES!
When I lived in the Charleston, South Carolina area, I visited an archeological dig of a town called Dorchester in the vicinity. It dated from the beginning of settlement in the area, and the town had died out nearly 200 years earlier.
They had uncovered a few foundations, but the thing that was most interesting at that stage was the graveyard they had found. Most of the tombstones had been put back in place, and they were very interesting to read and said much more about the town and it’s inhabitants than the foundations.
There was one gravestone I particularly remember. I don’t remember the name of the gentleman in question, but there was a long, flowery poem telling about his life. There was a long list of accomplishments, including being Vicar of the local church, and an elder of the town, and mentioning that he was survived by his wife and three grieving children.
The last think it mentioned was his age at death. He was 17!
You may have something there about kids leaving later and later in life.
Wow, awesome post! I think to a degree, there are some oversimplifications in the trends about kids not “growing up”, and mainly that they lump in gaining financial independence and getting an education with getting married and having kids. I don’t think that getting married and having kids is something that signifies “adulthood” or maturity. In fact, I think it is a positive thing that many young people are postponing these important decisions until they are older.
However, gaining financial independence and finishing an education ARE signs of adulthood and maturity, and it is really sad to me that our culture has encouraged consumerism to the point that today’s youth are often times totally out of touch with reality. I love the term “affluenza” and it is so true. When I was younger, there were outreach programs to help economically disadvantaged young people so they wouldn’t grow up and turn to drugs and crime. Now, though, we are beginning to see a scary trend of more and more violence and drug use happening in suburbia than in the inner cities. In fact, I read an article the other day that said that kids growing up in the suburbs are 10 times more likely to use drugs than kids in the city simply because they have access to such a substantial amount of free time and free money.
Thanks again for another important & insightful post! Have an awesome day!