I have a cell phone. It is a work cell phone, so you probably won’t have my number, because you probably aren’t someone who wants to call me for work reasons.

I may be the last person in America to get a cell phone.

After I’d had it for, oh, six hours, I opened the box and took out the manual (not the phone — that came later). I figured I would read it. It began with warnings not to cook the phone in a microwave, feed the parts to the baby, or clean the phone with benzene.

I concluded from this that the manual was written for very stupid people, and I would have no difficulty with it.

I was wrong.

I tried the online tutorial. #2 daughter called me while I was trying to figure out how to set a ringtone. “There’s an online tutorial for your phone?” She asked in disbelief. “Mama, that’s funny.”

Actually, I found it at least slightly helpful. I was able to figure out how to scroll. I couldn’t figure out how to push the “options” button. It says “options” on the screen, and pushing the screen had no effect. #1 son helped me with that. I have answered it successfully several times now, and am contemplating calling someone with it today. In time, I will figure out how to record a message.

swap2Here is my SWAP Part II storyboard.

I am using some new shapes. I still don’t have enough sewing experience to be able to follow the rule about using “tried and true” patterns for everything, but I am intending to make three pairs of pants from the same pattern. I should be good at it by the time I finish them. I am planning to use Tencel twill for them, though, so they will have a more feminine and possibly more formal air than the jeans and khakis I usually wear, and yet be washable so I can climb ladders if need be.

I’m doing some tunics, thinking that I can feel comfortable in them at the computer yet still answer the door with confidence. And I am planning an Easter suit in the lilac Tencel/linen blend in the upper right of the fabrics, which will coordinate well with my plum jacket and the gray pieces from SWAP Part I, so that I will have choices for my school visits.

Easter is coming up fast, of course, so I will make the skirt for this week’s sewn object. I am using a TNT pattern for that, so I feel confident of it. Blessing suggested that I should make a yellow shell to go with the Easter suit. I notice, looking at my storyboard here, that it is still mostly gray in its overall effect. Yellow would jazz it up.

Blessing asked what shoes I would wear with it. Did I have any yellow shoes, she wanted to know.

Blessing hasn’t known me very long. My old friends might be thinking about whether there was any kind way to tell me that I shouldn’t wear loafers with this ensemble. Blessing has only known me since the fall, when I was well into my attempts to become a chic old lady (I am giving myself a couple of decades to work toward this goal). I surmise that I must have made some improvements, if she actually thought I might own yellow shoes.

Actually, I have a piece of green — seriously green, not the grayish greens you can see on the storyboard — silk charmeuse. I could make a shell of that to jazz up the Easter suit, and I actually do have a pair of beautiful green pumps I bought at the after-Christmas sales. I could look like someone in a new Easter suit all the way to the choir room, where I would cover it up with my robe and no one would know the difference.