Didn’t I tell you I couldn’t go play with the SEO bloggers? Read this totally condescending sentence from one of the SEO blogs, which will remain nameless because you don’t want to visit them anyway: “Though some of these fall under the “Duh!” category to seasoned search marketers, this is not the case for many unseasoned small business owners who are either confused or still following advice from 1999. “

That’s why I have to tell you that I have reached #8 on the Google front page for one of the keyword phrases I’m working on! Break out the champagne!

Yes, well, I realize that you do not care. The trouble is that no one cares. That is why seasoned SEO marketers spend so much time congratulating one another and bragging about their accomplishments and pinging and sphinning and so forth. Not only does no one care, in the real world, but no one even understands what they’re talking about. Their clients also don’t care. They just want to see orders (and may I just brag here that the catalog’s orders are up to a gratifying number of orders per day? Gratifying to me, I mean, because I have analyzed the stats and seen that The Dark Art is making its glacial changes. The Empress isn’t celebrating yet). And the orders follow the SEO triumphs by quite a lag, naturally, so the clients kind of feel like the SEO marketers are just playing video games on their dime.

By the way, Central Office sent me a free trivet, which is right up there with World of Warcraft special gauntlets, isn’t it?

Never mind all that. I know you really want to read about Thanksgiving. You may not be working on The Dark Art or even playing World of Warcraft, but those pies aren’t going to bake themselves, are they?

I have a nice crowd coming for the holiday. I have asked around and there is widespread agreement (well, among the kids who live here in the house) on the preferred menu. Grandpa and Grandma are bringing the turkey and dressing, and the kids also want mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, and pies. Naturally, I am also going to have cranberry sauce, rice, and a Chocolate Silk Torte.

However, this is all the predictable stuff. Well, the Silk Torte is new. But the other things are pretty much what we have every year. I like to add something surprising and different in the way of a vegetable or a salad.

I’ve made the spinach salad with oranges and olives so many times that it is no longer surprising. And while I have made a number of other surprising things — cornbread with cheese and jalapenos, various sweet potato casseroles, squash casserole, fancy things with Jell-O — they tend not to get eaten by the kids. Adults can only eat so much, so there are usually lots of leftovers.

Since the girls and I are leaving the next day to go to #2 daughter’s place, I think I may need the extra thing to be something the boys will actually eat while I am gone.

I am thinking about Potatoes Anna, on the grounds that it is fancy and different and the boys love it, but that does make two potato dishes, rather than a green or yellow vegetable to save us all from beriberi. I am also thinking about some sort of gelatin thing, because Jell-O is not real food, but rather just a table decoration, so I don’t feel as bad about having it go to waste. I am also thinking about punch of some kind, which is also decorative, and you throw out the leftovers without a second thought.

What are you having for Thanksgiving?