tday 095  Laudamus Te from the Poulenc Gloria can’t really be the song of the day, because it isn’t the kind of thing you can sing in the car, even with a group of friends. It requires an orchestra. It’s what was in my mind when I woke up, though, because I was rehearsing it last night. We’re singing it in concert this weekend, and you should come if you live in my neighborhood.

Poulenc, the director told us, thought about nuns playing soccer when he wrote this movement. That’s reason enough to enjoy it.

But the Christmas song for home use today is Christmas Wrapping by Chris Butler. The lyrics tell the story of a modern romance, which is to say that there were no proper dates, they relied entirely on their cell phones, and the participants stood each other up most of the time. However, they do meet in the market on Christmas Eve, having both decided to spend the holiday alone.

In real life, if you met a guy in a random way at the beginning of the year and had a couple of misfires in the way of dates over the course of the year, and then met in Tesco on Christmas Eve, it wouldn’t work out. First, neither of you was interested enough to make any effort in the previous ten months. Second, no preparations have been made, so whichever place you go back to won’t really be decorated and the meal will be sub-par, so there’ll be nothing to help get over the awkwardness. This is only good in movies, where incompetence is apparently a major aphrodisiac.

Girls in movies are never more attractive to the hero than when they’re dropping things, getting drunk and falling down, saying stupid things, or pitching hissy fits while getting disheveled and, if possible, falling into noxious substances. Guys are at their most charming, in movies, when they get lost, mess things up, and screw up dates. In movies, being able to conduct oneself like a grownup is the mark of a villain.

In real life, competence is pretty sexy.

All that aside, “Christmas Wrapping” is a fun, catchy song. There’s hardly any tune and it’s largely spoken, so it requires no musical ability, but it’s danceable and has some cool trumpet bits that you can mime. It’s been recorded by The Waitresses, Miranda Cosgrove, the Spice Girls, and every other artist with a playground sound. Here’s a karaoke version.

You can rock out to this in your kitchen or at your desk today. Fair warning: the song is a well known ear worm, so it can be hard to get it out of your head once you start. Me, I did 8300+ steps yesterday and have sore muscles from weights. I also did the food journal, though I ate rather randomly. My internet connection was shaky all day, and that’s where I work, so there was a high frustration level. There were also lots of emails, largely stuff like, “I blew up my site,” “I lost a page from my site,” “I want the same work we talked about for half as much money,” and “Yes, the design you sent was what I asked for but now I’ve completely changed my mind.” I’ll probably listen to the Gloria. And finish the cranberry coffee cake pictured above. Best use of leftover cranberry sauce.