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We’re heading into Thanksgiving. #2 son will be here tonight or tomorrow. #2 daughter still hasn’t committed herself, but the others will be around over the T-day holiday even if they don’t make the feast.

Normally I use the weekend before an intense social event to store up as much alone time as possible. Not this time. Today’s schedule, following exercise, breakfast, and the making of the potluck dish:

  • 8:30 volunteer in church kitchen
  • 9:30 Sunday School
  • 12:00 potluck lunch for stewardship drive
  • 1:00 congregational meeting
  • 2:00 play at the university theater with La Bella
  • 4:00 Worship Meeting

Any additional time will have to be spent doing the housework that I started but did not complete yesterday.

Yesterday I actually spent a fair amount of time sitting and knitting, but my husband also told me that he wants to move to Fresno.

Fresno.

He’s lonely, he says, which makes sense to me since he is an extrovert who has been sitting around doing nothing for a year and a half. A job would help with that. But he wants to be near his family. I would like to stay near our kids, but he means his birth family. I have no one from my birth family left in the U.S., and the kids have their own families and no longer live with us, so this makes sense.

The conversation verged on a quarrel, but didn’t quite get there, though I did cry.

As I told #1 daughter on the phone later that evening, I have this nice life which I have designed for myself, and I don’t want to give it up. She was in much the same position last year at this time. She made the move. She hasn’t yet unpacked and doesn’t plan to decorate her new place.

My husband’s spell of unemployment has interfered with my well-designed life already. Moving to Fresno will probably mean living with his brother and sister-in-law for a while, and then living in an apartment. I will have to get rid of much of my furniture, my books, my heirloom china and glassware. I won’t see my kids as often as I do now. Even #2 son, living in Colorado, will be further away. I won’t see my grandchildren at all, I suppose.

And Fresno is not a garden spot. #1 daughter pointed out that I haven’t been there in 30 years, and that is true. But of all the towns where I might have chosen to live, Fresno is on the bottom of the list. That may be completely unfair.

So, yeah, I spent yesterday being upset over the possible upset of my lovely life. But that was selfish. My husband has every right to want to move near his brother, in a community with more Lao people. I can work anywhere. It’ll be an adventure.

I am definitely moving into Thanksgiving with an unsettled mind.