I bought an appliance part from Amazon, along with a bunch of books, an exercise thing, and a toy. I don’t know why they’re offering me Dan Brown and the Berenstain Bears, whom I cordially loathe, but Terry Pratchett and cookbooks make sense. I bought children’s books (Graeme Base, a whole other thing from those bears) and electronic devices are often on my review list, even though I don’t usually buy them.

That is, I can see why Amazon’s algorithm is offering me dryer parts, books, and stuff for kids.

But I am also being offered a Fox News … sticker? Alexa app? Something about Fox News, along with a “funny Donald Trump birthday card.” I can’t imagine how a birthday card mentioning Trump could be amusing for anyone. But I have to conclude that the combination of Trump humor and Fox News implies that I’m a Republican.

Where did Amazon get that? Which of the Terry Pratchett novels or Graeme Base picture books is strongly associated with right wing politics? Is Playmobil a dead giveaway for white supremacist leanings?

I checked my recent browsing history. Cat beds. Reading glasses. I am seeing a possible pattern. Mystery novels. I even bought darning needles.

Amazon has concluded that I am an elderly cat lady. They see me as one of those cat ladies who buy little scratching sofas for their multiple cats and then loll about reading mysteries with their reading glasses and darning socks.

I know quite a few feisty old Democrat women, but perhaps they don’t buy darning needles.

Yeah, I bet it was the darning needles that topped the balance.